THE SQUAD'S OFFICIAL (UNOFFICIAL) LOCATION NAMES
Real callouts are for people who win games. These are for us.
TJC dies here every single round without fail. The squad has started pre-mourning.
Pretty Mouth Man was alt-tabbed in Factorio and walked straight off the map here. Twice.
Neilatron fell asleep holding an angle here. Woke up to 'ROUND LOST' and said 'aye fair enough.'
Where Doodlleus panic-knifes the air every time he hears footsteps. Has never hit anyone.
The squad bought 5 Odins and held this hallway. The enemy team typed 'reported' in all chat.
Pretty Mouth Man said 'purchance we rush A' and the squad got aced in 4 seconds.
Chill Good Night uses this exclusively to escape fights she started and cannot finish.
TJC has attempted 14 rezzes here. 0 survived. He keeps trying. The definition of insanity.
Where Doodlleus goes to miss every shot once his gaming chair runs out of power.
Where TJC types CRASHOUT in chat while simultaneously dying to a Sheriff headshot.
TJC missed a snake bite through this window by a full tile then said 'this is why im the viper.'
More of TJC's teammates have died post-rez on this site than any other location in Valorant history.
Where Pretty Mouth Man announced his retirement from gaming, then top-fragged the next 3 rounds.
At exactly 11pm, Doodlleus's crosshair starts drifting south here. The chair has spoken.
Chill Good Night places her Killjoy turret here and goes AFK to get snacks. The turret outfrags her.
Where Doodlleus sends 'Sploink?' in the group chat to summon the squad. The echo carries.
TJC said 'I could do exactly one more round' then proceeded to entry frag B for 4 more games.
Chill Good Night was asked to heal here as Sage. She placed a slow orb on her own teammate instead.
Where TJC proudly showed off his Wasteland Vandal skin. The squad held an intervention on the spot.
Neilatron was asked 'are you watching B?' and replied 'aye' from A site. He was not watching B.
Where the squad collectively lost 87 RR in one session. Neilatron predicted it. He always does.
Pretty Mouth Man was alt-tabbed to Factorio here for 3 full rounds. Nobody noticed until round 4.
Where Pretty Mouth Man accidentally did something good as Brimstone and the squad lost their minds.
The enemy team surrendered after the squad held this with 5 Odins for 3 rounds straight.
Doodlleus fell off this catwalk 3 times in one half. All after 11pm. The chair knows.
Chill Good Night said 'mayhaps I rotate' then sat in Wine for the entire round doing nothing.
Chill Good Night got a 4K here once. The 5th kill was stolen by Doodlleus. She has not forgiven him.
Where the squad waits for Chill Good Night who said 'mebe3 minutes.' It was 10 minutes.
Neilatron held an angle here for so long the squad thought he disconnected. He was just 'focused.'
The squad has a combined 3-47 record in fights through this tube. They keep peeking it.
Pretty Mouth Man rode the belt into 4 enemies while alt-tabbed. He didn't even notice he died.
Chill Good Night actually went to her kitchen IRL during a round because 'the vibes aligned.'
Neilatron says 'aye' from nest every round. He has never actually been in nest. No one knows where he is.
TJC typed CRASHOUT 47 times in chat while holding this angle. He got a 3K. Correlation unclear.
Where TJC explained his Valorant OS dual-boot setup in the middle of a clutch. He lost the clutch.
Chill Good Night's favorite position. Near the site. Not ON the site. Philosophically adjacent.
Doodlleus sends 'Sploink?' here at the start of every round. It has become a ritual.
Where Pretty Mouth Man announces 'not a gamer anymore' before immediately getting a double kill.
The squad attempted a Stinger-only rush here. It worked once. They've tried it 30 more times since.
Named after Doodlleus's second most cryptic game-night summon message. Nobody knows what it means.
Chill Good Night's turret has more kills here than Chill Good Night does. The turret is the carry.
Where TJC scopes in with his Wasteland Vandal and talks about it like it's a vintage wine.
Named after Doodlleus yelled 'FUCK YOU CHILL GOOD NIGHT' here apropos of absolutely nothing.
The squad tried attacking from both sides simultaneously. Both groups died. 10 deaths in 4 seconds.
Pretty Mouth Man said 'this map has arcade? like games?' and alt-tabbed to Factorio again.
Neilatron was found AFK here 3 rounds in a row. Claims he was 'reading chat.' There was no chat.
Where Neilatron's internet conveniently dies whenever the squad is losing. Always comes back at 12-12.
Pretty Mouth Man's Brimstone ult landed perfectly here once. The squad won't let him forget the ONE time.
TJC said 'exactly one game' then entered B Main for 4 consecutive games. The prophecy was fulfilled.
Post-11pm, Doodlleus dropped here and couldn't aim up for 6 seconds. The chair was in power-save mode.
Pretty Mouth Man said 'purchance we hold mid' 7 rounds in a row. They lost mid 7 rounds in a row.
Doodlleus's third most popular game-night summon. He typed it here once mid-round. Squad was confused.
Where TJC insists his Wasteland Vandal 'fits the aesthetic.' The squad has filed a formal complaint.
Chill Good Night walked past 3 injured teammates here without healing. 'Healing goes against everything I believe in.'
Named when Doodlleus typed 'Doink?' in chat, then immediately headshot someone. Coincidence? Unclear.
Doodlleus typed 'Moo?' to invite to game night and Neilatron responded 'aye' 47 minutes later from this spot.
The squad has lost a cumulative 200+ RR in fights at this position. They refuse to stop taking it.
Where the legendary 4-knife round happened. The greatest achievement in squad history. Undisputed.
Where the Bucky phase of Team Gun Game claimed 14 consecutive lives. Nobody wants to talk about it.
A plaque should be placed here honoring the 4-knife round. If you weren't there, you wouldn't understand.
TJC achieved peak crashout here: 12 CRASHOUT messages in 1 round while simultaneously getting 2 kills.
Chill Good Night's favorite spot. Near C. Not on C. Close enough to hear the plant. Far enough to survive.
Named after Doodlleus typed 'Boing?' to summon the squad and then jumped off this balcony to his death.
TJC placed a Viper wall so bad it blocked his own team. 'This is why im the viper.' No it isn't, TJC.
Named after Doodlleus's most unhinged game-night invite: just 'Boom boom pow?' at 2am on a Tuesday.
Pretty Mouth Man retired from gaming here. He was back in 6 minutes. Personal record.
TJC's 'exactly one' game somehow always becomes 4 when the squad rotates through mid.
Chill Good Night was on her 4th kill. Doodlleus stole the ace. She didn't speak for 3 rounds.
TJC rezzed someone here with no cover, no smoke, nothing. They died instantly. 'Unlucky' said TJC.
Where Doodlleus typed 'Boom boom pow?' at 2am and somehow 4 people responded within a minute.
Chill Good Night's turret got a 3K here while she was getting water. The turret is now team MVP.
Where Neilatron responds 'aye' to every callout. 'They're A Main.' 'Aye.' 'ALL FIVE B.' 'Aye.'
Neilatron predicted they'd lose RR here. He was right. He's always right. It's his curse.
Pretty Mouth Man walked off the map here because he was alt-tabbed to Factorio. Literal abyss.
Doodlleus said 'FUCK YOU CHILL GOOD NIGHT' 6 times in this corridor in one half. New record.
Post-11pm Doodlleus walked off this ledge because his gaming chair entered sleep mode. He didn't even flinch.
TJC attempted to rez someone who fell off the map here. The rez worked. They fell off again.
TJC reached peak crashout: typed CRASHOUT so fast he walked off the bridge mid-message. Poetic.
Chill Good Night was asked 'are you on site?' She said 'mayb.' She was in spawn. She's always in spawn.
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THE SQUAD NEEDS YOU. DOODLLEUS IS ALREADY ASKING "SPLOINK?" IN THE GROUP CHAT.